Thursday, May 29, 2008

Bleh...just feeling bleh

I am not in it this week. I haven't journaled this week, I haven't counted points and I haven't exercised and I know why. Two reasons: I didn't plan so I haven't gone to the grocery store and I am just plain exhausted. I have absolutely no energy. It's taking everything I have to just get out of bed in the morning to go to work. I really need to take those thyroid pills *makes mental note to dig them out of my purse. That's probably the reason I have been so tired lately.

Yesterday, after work I took an hour nap. I know better than to do this. When I take a nap late in the day, I can't sleep that night. Wouldn't you know it, I couldn't get to sleep last night despite me being exhausted. So, I am just a walking zombie. I can't even focus on the work that I need to get done and I am on deadline. Maybe I will put my head down on my desk during lunch :).

Quite frankly, I just want to go back to bed and sleep for a couple of months :).

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Memorial Day Weekend and WOW

Wow, I can't believe the number of people that have signed up for my challenge! I hope we all do fabulous! Now, it appears that I am going to have to hunt down a couple of you to get your starting weights. I will only hunt you down the first week. After that, you guys are on your own. :) For those of you just stopping by, there is still time to sign up. Just click on the picture to the left to read the details/rules. Sign up ends June 16th.
For those of you that have already joined, please check to make sure your name made it to the list. I want to make sure I didn't miss any emails/comments.
May the biggest loser win, you bunch of losers :P
Oh BTW, Fluffy Girl I can't comment on any of your posts :(.

Onto other news...
My 4-day weekend felt like 1 day. Where did the other 3 days go? I did get to see F, 3 out of those 4 days even though one day it was for literally 5 minutes. That's a huge thing to see him that much because I usually only see him one day a week.

He went with me to my parents' house for a cookout Sunday and met my parents for the first time. My step father, who tends to embarass me, by telling all the old teenage stories, etc was actually on good behavior. He didn't tell of the time my stepsister and I went to the mall with $10 to buy some speaker wire and came home with no money and told him it was that expensive (20 + years ago). He didn't tell of the time that we were boiling chicken and when he came home there was barely any meat, the chicken had shrunk to a peasant nor did he tell of the time we made rice pudding and mistakenly put salt instead of sugar or the biscuits and gravy which was more like biscuits and wallpaper paste. There are so many worse sure those will come out in time if F sticks around.

Even Fr and L, who are friends of my parents were on their best behavior. When I say their best, that doesn't mean parochial school best behavior, just their best :). Fr is a troublemaker. He is about 75 years old but you wouldn't know it, because he is as wiry as they come. He is also quite the pervert, but not in a creepy way. He must not have felt well because not one smart remark came out of his mouth. Highly unusual!

I think F had a good time. My parents did ask him if they scared him away and he said no. Of course, my stepfather did tell him he can come back anytime and he doesn't even need to bring me.

Anyway, I better get started on getting caught up with all of your blogs, and find out what challenges I am joining :).

Monday, May 26, 2008

Biggest Loser Challenge STARTS TODAY!

Today is the start of the Biggest Loser Challenge!

From those of you that have signed up I need your starting weights (please
verify that what I have is correct, as of this morning). Some of you have
said that you don't weigh yourself on Mondays. I don't see that as a
problem as long as you update me each week. If you do not weigh yourself
on Mondays, please just send me a comment of when you do, to remind

If I have missed anyone or anyone else wants to join the challenge please
comment me with your name, blog name and your starting weight and I will add you
to the list. Here is additional information regarding the challenge.

I am also joining in for the challenge but if by chance I do win, I will not
take the prize and will give it to the next in line. I will also be
updating more later but wanted to get this out there.


Today was my weigh-in and I have to say I am a bit frustrated. I have
been playing with those same pounds for months now and I still can't seem to
get past it. Hopefully, next week. I did get my new bike and I
like it :) I have been on it every night so far even if only for a couple
of minutes. Last night it was a game of Tetris and Blackjack.

Oh, and what happened to Blogger? I used to be able to edit my HTML here. *sigh

Friday, May 23, 2008

I'm so Excited

I'm so excited! It's almost time for our Summer Blog Party to start. Diana has spent her free time coordinating a summer long party for us bloggers. You don't know what this party is about? Well let me tell you. A bunch of us, more than I even imagined, are having challenges of some sort, including me and giving away some awesome prizes! Everyone should go over to her blog and thank her for all her effort. Get back here, not my post, first!

So all of this excitement starts Monday, don't forget!

If you don't know what the Bloggers' Biggest Loser Challenge is, read more here. In a nutshell, lose weight and you could win a prize! The challenge will go all summer long and the person that loses the largest percentage of weight wins. I have already had a few sign ups, which I will be listing Monday. The sign-up information is available on the original post and I will be posting all the information again on Sunday/Monday.


In other news, my mom went to the doctor yesterday and they found a spot on her liver too. I am starting to get a little concerned. I am trying hard not to think about it, it could very well be nothing. She has been healthy all my life and I can't remember her ever being sick other than minor colds. She doesn't go back to the doctor until next Thursday so please keep her in your prayers that it is nothing.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Fixing the innards one day at a time...

Yesterday, I was reading Fat Bridesmaid's post about not wanting to go to the gym but she did anyway and pushed herself. It inspired me. It inspired me so much, I challenged her to an hour last night. She accepted that challenge. By the way, I don't like calling her Fat Bridesmaid so from here on out, it's FB.

If it wouldn't have been for this challenge, I probably still would have gone to the gym but I probably wouldn't have pushed myself so hard, so thanks FB.

I have read that you're body burns energy from two different energy sources, glycogen and fat. It must burn an adequate amount from your glycogen stores before burning from your fat stores. weight training burns primarily glycogen in your body, and cardio burns primarily fat (of course, this information varies depending on who you ask). Based on that information, I started out with the weights. I am not comfortable yet to wander into the guys' realm of free weights so I work on the machines. Maybe when I don't feel like the fat chick, I will wander over there but until then it's the machines.

I ended up doing 25 minutes of weight training on my arms, while occasionally catching glimpses of the eye candy to the left of me. Of course, I have to admit the eye candy has been degrading lately. There was one man that I used to see there...oh my. That's all I can say is OH MY. Anyway, I digress.

25 minutes down, need at least 35 more. Ughh, I didn't want to but I forged ahead. Most of the cardio equipment is full. There are a couple of treadmills open and an elliptical. I am afraid of the elliptical. Yes, literally afraid. I have been on it once when I first joined the gym and I didn't like it. It seemed really hard on the knees. I don't know what the resistance was set at but I didn't want to look like a baffoon messing around with it so have never tried it again. Someday. The Cybex if you know what those are, kick my ass. Again, I haven't been on it since the day I joined because that day I thought you were going to have to get me a body bag after 5 minutes. Again, someday.

I grabbed a treadmill. This treadmill faces the window so I can look out at the pool. Ahh, I would much rather be in that pool instead of sweating like a hog on the treadmill. About 7 minutes into it, I notice this girl and guy walk by the pool. She is much younger than me. I would probably guess she was around 18 maybe. I couldn't help but stare at her. I would guesstimate her height to be around 5'5 and about 300 pounds, probably more. She was wearing a bathing suit that wasn't very flattering. I thought to myself, "Wow, I wish I had the courage like that to walk around in front of strangers in my bathing suit". That thought quickly turned to pity. I wanted to tell her to come inside and get on a treadmill. I wondered about her story. Had she always been overweight? Had she tried dieting? Did she even care? Or is she one of the lucky ones that has a high self esteem and is happy with their body exactly the way it is?

I hated the treadmill. I watch every minute on the clock. This girl in the swimming suit offered extra incentive to me to keep going. I even added another .1 mph to my speed. I was going to stop at 10 minutes, but forced myself to go 15. Then, off to the bikes.

I decided that I would use the recumbant bike instead of the stationary. The recumbant really kills my feet, I'm not sure why. I would, probably normally use it as an excuse to stop but I didn't. I was determined to get to that 60 minutes if it killed me. 23 minutes later, I stumbled off the recumbant bike feeling wonderful about the fact that I just made it 63 minutes! What an awesome feeling of accomplishment!

I can't help but to think about swimsuit girl and how she got to where she is. We all have our stories, some started from the day we entered this world. Other stories have started after childbirth. Some just started. We can't change the beginning chapters of our stories, but we can change the future chapters. Only we can change our stories, no one else.

I know how mine will continue. I will continue to do my best to adopt a healthy lifestyle. I know I won't be perfect all the time and I will accept that without guilt. I know the scale is not always going to show me what I want to see (it didn't again this morning, piece of #*$) and I will accept that and not give up.

Do you know how your story will continue?

A couple more things:

Don't forget, Monday marks the start of the Summer Blog Party and my Biggest Loser Challenge.

Check this out: Here is a picture at my highest weight about a year ago....289. It's a horrible picture but I had to show you this.

Now, check out my virtual weight loss of 50 lbs. Cool, huh? Here is the link to do it yourself.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I'm Not Happy...

...with my scale. I told you on Monday that my scale and I had a little chat with an understanding. So far this week it is not living up to its end of the agreement. In fact, it is going up. I know, I know I shouldn't be checking the scale more than once a week but I like to see where I stand, it keeps me focused. I have been very good this week. I have stayed within my points range, I have been drinking my water and I have been moving. So it better get its act together and start holding up its end of the bargain.

Monday night I really wanted to ride my bike but my bike has had flat tires for some time. I had bought a bike pump a few months ago for this reason. I can't find it. I cleaned my garage a couple of months ago and everything has its place and still no bike pump. I am not happy about it. I spent another 10 minutes looking for it last night and still nothing. *sigh. I guess I will have to go back to the store and get another one.

Then, in other news my mom has to go back to the doctor. They found a spot on one of her lungs. Now, my mom has never smoked a day in her life so am hoping it is just some old scar tissue. I will hopefully know more tomorrow. I am trying not to stress over it because there is nothing I can do about it anyway. It is what it is, but still so hard to not dwell on it.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I have been weighing myself wrong and a new DVD

Now, I know why I am having problems. I have been weighing myself wrong!

This DVD is also a new addition to my exercise tapes. I have had a hard time in the past sticking to my exercise tapes. Let's see, I have Richard Simmons- Dancing to the Oldies, Tae Bo DVD set, Walking Away the Pounds, a bunch of aerobics tapes, HIP HOP exercise, Abs of Steel and the list goes on and on.

I saw the tape advertised on TV. Yes, call me a sucker. Some of those "As Seen on TV" ads are very convincing. However, I don't ever pay the "as seen on TV" price, I searched for it on Ebay and saved about $10.

I tried it last night. I didn't finish it. It would be a lot of fun if I could get the steps down. I wonder how long it took the girls on the tape to get the moves down. I really wish there was information on the pamphlet with a timeline of how long I can expect it will take me to learn it. 5 minutes - for really coordinated, 10 minutes - for somewhat coordinated, 15 min - there's still hope to be coordinated or two months for klutzes. I would fit in the last category, I think. Even though I didn't finish the tape, I think it will be a lot of fun once I can get the moves down a bit better. I really wish the Y would start some salsa classes. That is one class I think I would enjoy.

Monday, May 19, 2008

It's Monday already?

I don't even know where to start today. It's Monday, I guess I don't have to function well. I gained this week but considering I normally gain that one dreadful week of the month, it wasn't as bad as it has been in the past. I keep playing with the same few pounds. This changes this week. I am no longer going to accept 277, 278, etc. This week, I am going down to 275 at least. No exceptions. I had a talk with the scale and my body this morning. We have an understanding. I made it very clear that we are not going to play with those few pounds anymore. It stops now.

It was kind of a downer weekend for me. I really only get to spend time with F one day a week and that is normally Saturdays. He started up some classes again at the college and had been a little late in getting his books and so was already a week behind in his classes. We spent about an hour together on Saturday before I reluctantly went home so he could study.

Then, I spent 3 hours trying to fix my #*%&! toilet. Part of my problem was when I was trying to remove its innards, I was screwing instead of unscrewing. Uh duh! So, when I realized what I was doing I tried unscrewing...hmm, still not working. At this point, I just want to rip the toilet out of the bloody floor. Breathe! Another duh moment! The nut to loosen is on the outside of the toilet. OK, now we are making progress. I replace it with the new one, put the supply tube back in, turn the water back on and you thought it was fixed? NO! I have water gushing out of the toilet from beneath. *sigh It's leaking from the supply tube and from the bottom of the tank. I am beginning to think an outhouse in the backyard is starting to sound like a good idea. Ok, breathe! I take it back apart and put it back together again, pray and turn the water back on. Yes, it's not leaking! I am watching the water rise in the tank and waiting for it to stop, it doesn't stop. *sigh again. This is the problem I had before replacing the innards, it never stopped. I am bending the rod that the floaty thing is on, still running. I bend it some more, it breaks. I call F. He thinks I am being moody. No, I am not #*$&(% moody, I am frustrated honey. He said he would come look at it but it couldn't be tonight. Anyone that knows me knows that I won't wait. I will keep messing with it and either break it totally or fix it. I get another toilet repair kit (because they don't sell just the stinking rods) and this time bend it near the pvc thingy and turn the water back on. Please, please stop when you're suppose to. God, please make the water stop where it is supposed to. It really is in the best interest of my sanity to make it stop. The water stops! Yay, my prayers have been answered. Now, if only all the other ones that really, really mattered could be answered. So now I am a master plumber or at least an expert on toilets.

Sunday, I took my dog to the dog beach. It was my first and his first visit. It was great. We were only there about an hour which was plenty of time because he was done. The heat gives me migraines and I was starting to feel it. There is a 6ft leash requirement. I brought it but I also brought my horse's lunge line :). It is much longer. I had complete control at all times though so there was no worries about him bothering anyone else or anyone else bothering him. He wasn't afraid of the waves at all. He just walked right in swam out about 10 ft, then would turn around and come back in and do it all over again.

So that is pretty much the excitement of my weekend. Today is a new week. I have my breakfast sandwich that I made at home instead of grabbing one at 7-11. I have my gym clothes. I received my green tea in the mail over the weekend. So, I am ready for the week. I am going to get past this place I have stayed in for months.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Friday, May 16, 2008

It's Friday!

It WAS a great day yesterday. I don't know what happened. I got home from work and I was starving. I made a couple of tortillas with that black bean conconction. Not satisfying. I waited about 10 minutes and was still hungry so I went and had a WW blueberry muffin. Ok, this puts me over my points for the day. An hour later my stomach is grumbling again...WTH? I never snack in the evening. I normally I eat my dinner and that is it. Ok, I will have another muffin, nothing else seems appetizing. By the end of the night I had 2 of those WW muffins, 2 slices of low fat cheese and a glass of milk, going over my points for the day by 11. Not good. I was a bottomless pit last night. The only thing I can think of is it is THAT time and I tend to get hungrier but I hope it doesn't reflect badly on the scale Monday. What's worse is I feel awful today. That'll teach me. Today is a new day.
On the bright side, I finally broke down and ordered my new exercise bike for those nights that I don't go to the gym. It has games :). I can't wait for it to come.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Life is Wonderful!

It is a good day. In fact it is a wonderful day. It's been a pretty rough week. However, I have stayed on program, well for the most part. I have been bad about my water but as far as eating, I have been on program. I didn't exercise yesterday but I have somewhat of a good excuse. It was F's birthday yesterday. Normally I don't see him during the week because of his schedule but he has had a pretty rough week at work. He texted me a few messages that put my mind at ease about a lot of things and he told me he wished I was there. I brushed my hair, checked to make sure I didn't look hideous, hopped in my car and drove to his apt as quickly as possible. It takes about 20-25 minutes to get there depending on the traffic. Isn't that horrible, he is probably only like 10 miles away. Anyway, I digress. I drove there to spend about 30 minutes with him before he had to go. What can I say other than I am crazy about that man? Normally, I wouldn't do something like that but it was his birthday, he has been having a bad week, I have been having a bad week and ok, ok I admit it I just wanted to see him :). He is coming to my mom's Memorial weekend for a BBQ...yay! Meeting my parents isn't a sign of wedding bells where it is with some, so not a real huge deal but I am anxious for them to meet him.

Oh, I have to tell you I made this fabulous dinner last night and it was extremely simple, quick and nutritious. The best thing is if you are on WW, you can make it for about 3 points!!!

Here it is:

2 green pepper, cut up
1 onion, cut up
1 can of corn
1 can of black beans

I sauteed the green pepper and onion in olive oil but if you want to keep the fat/points down, use olive oil spray. I didn't think about it at the time. Then, I added the corn and black beans. I bought tortillas that are 81 calories each with .7 g of fat and 2g of fiber (each). I made quesadillas out of it. It worked fairly well but it would have been better with some low fat cheese to hold it all together. I estimated that it made about 6 servings. Without the olive oil, it would have only been 3 pts for a serving and that includes the two tortillas!!!

Don't forget to check out my challenge and sign up! It starts Memorial Day.

Oh, and one more thing. Here is a little video for my core exerciser.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

More Details about the Bloggers' Biggest Loser Challenge

Ok, priorities first. In the spirit of competition, another challenge awaits you. This is the Bloggers' Biggest Loser Challenge. The challenge will start on Memorial Day Monday May 26, 2008 and run through Labor Day Monday September 1, 2008.

You must be signed up by June 16, 2008 to participate.

How do I sign up?
To be part of the challenge: email thinking.thin at yahoo dot com with your name, blog name, blog URL.

What are the rules?
On Monday, May 26th. Email me your name, blog name to thinking.thin at yahoo dot com with your current weight.
  1. Each Monday email me your weight. Try your best to email me on Mondays. If you don't, it will not be held against you.
  2. Be honest about your weight.
  3. Be positive. Remember that this is a lifestyle change, it doesn't happen overnight. Don't get upset if you don't lose (I know easier said than done).
  4. Visit your other bloggers for support and motivation.
  5. Have fun!
  6. Promote the challenge to others. Add a badge to your website.

<a href="" target="_blank"><img src="" border="0" alt="Bloggers Biggest Loser Challenge"></a>

How it is going to work?

  1. Each week when I receive the weekly weigh-ins, I will update this blog with the percentage of weight lost. We are not using pounds because some have more to lose than others. Percentage of body weight is the key.
  2. Be patient with me as I do work FT, have a PT business out of my home, and try to find time to get to the gym. I will try to update the blog as promptly as I can.
Now, what do I get if I win?

You will have your choice of prizes:

Sandstone coasters w/oak base, Clock Picture Frame, 6x6 Keepsake Box or Iron Trivet

Guess what? I will even give a second place prize! However, you will not have the option to choose from all four items but from the remaining three items.

The best part of the prize is you get to personalize any way you want. Your picture, artwork, poem, whatever you want. After the winner of the contest has been declared, it will take approximately 2 weeks to receive your gift. This will allow me enough time to make the item and send it off. To see other items that I can make check out my website, Picture This Photo Tiles (website not complete). Some things to keep in the back of your head regarding the images you can use for the items if you win: I cannot use copyrighted images (it is against the law) and the pictures must be scanned at 150 DPI minimum (if you need it scanned, I can do that too).

Now, back to me... :)

Damn, it's hot out already! Diana, kudos to you for doing 5k. I tried but couldn't do it. It was too flipping hot and almost immediately got shin splints (note to self, stretch first). Even the dog's tongue was dragging the ground last night when we went for a walk.

So, my 30 minute walk was reduced to a 15 minute walk.

Exercise for Tuesday:

15 min walk = 1671 steps, .57 miles, 138 calories burned

15 min core exerciser (simulates horseback riding) INTENDED, but I must confess I didn't do it...I was too tired and went to bed instead.

Yay, day #1 complete

Yesterday was a good day. I stuck to my plan and went to the gym so I get two smiley faces.

I am still so tired, it might be time to check my thyroid levels again. My meds just keep on getting increased everytime I have it checked. The last couple of days my body has been so achy, am wondering if my Lupus is starting to flare up *sigh. Even though, I really would just rather sleep right now, I did get a decent workout last night. I didn't spend an hour like I used to but I need to work back up to it. It was quite a feat in itself to get my butt there considering how tired I have been.

Exercise log:

20 minutes treadmill @ 3mph
10 minutes bike for 2.2 miles

I have a plumber coming today so am hoping after he leaves I will have the energy to head up to the gym but usually once I am home, it is hard to get out (especially with gas prices). If I don't go to the gym I am going to take my dog for a walk to get some activity. I have decided that I must get at least 30 minutes a day, regardless of how I do it...whether it be cleaning the house, weeding, washing the car, walking or whatever. Obviously, I should do the walking on top of the cleaning or other task that I may have, but baby steps.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Things that make you go hmmm

Our bodies are strange contraptions. I lost about 4 pounds. I didn't deserve to lose it based on my effort, that's for sure.

As I have mentioned, I have been struggling with my head being in the right place and the energy to go exercise. I did nothing this past week that warranted a weight loss. I didn't drink my water. I didn't measure my food. I have been exhausted and was craving red meat so I even had a few cheeseburgers last week (that's odd for me). I had popcorn at the movies yesterday with butter!

I am surprised with the weight loss but I will take it :). Last night, I went to the store and bought me a bunch of fruit and made some breakfast sandwiches for the rest of the week. I am ready to go! So maybe my body was just being nice to me on the scale this morning to give me that extra mental boost that I needed.

And Happy Belated Mommy's Day to everyone!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

I am so tired lately, I don't know what my problem is. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning to go to work (nothing unusual, there) and am ready to go to bed as soon as I get home. I have not made it to the gym at all this week. Even now, I feel like I could sleep for 10 hours and it is almost 8:30a and I have been up for over 2 hours.

I said a few days ago or a week ago that my head was back in it. I don't think it is. I am still struggling with journaling, making the right choices, drinking my water, but really my biggest problem is exercising. I have done nothing! Eating right will not show me losses. I have found in the past I have to be diligent with both, to see the numbers and for whatever reason my motivation has slipped. Let me clarify a little, the motivation is there but the energy to follow through is not. Does that make any sense or am I just babbling?

I think it boils down to breakfast for me. If I have a decent breakfast, I think I can make it through the day. I bought bananas, orange juice, activa crap, frozen pineapple to make a smoothie for breakfast each morning. Well, the problem is I currently have a roommate and I can't run the blender in the morning. I decided I would make it the night before and this morning it was just yucky!! So unless I can make the smoothies at work, that is a no go. I need something that I can take on the go. I hate oatmeal. I am so picky that it causes me a lot of grief in trying to find something I will eat. My next thing to try is making my own egg sandwich at home the night before. The trick will be figuring out a way to keep the toast crispy. Any suggestions for breakfast would be great!

Some of you knew that I had thoughts about starting a challenge, I haven't given up on that (it will help keep me motivated). In fact, I decided that I should start the challenge the same time that Scale Junkie does hers. So while we are having fun with hers, we will also be making progress for our very own Biggest Loser Challenge. I haven't decided on prizes yet, it will be a surprise. If you want additional information, please click on the the button to the right.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Thank you

I want to thank all of you for your well wishes. My mother is doing fine and is home. In fact, she is feeling better each day. The best part is there is no permanent injury (at least according to ct-scans and x-rays). My mom is one tough cookie, let me tell ya. Friday nights she has a team penning competition. She has already told them not to count her out. She is ready to get back in the saddle *sigh. I really wish she would let herself heal a bit more but she is stubborn, pig headed and will do what she damn well pleases. It's what she loves doing and it keeps her young so who am I to disagree.

But again, I wanted to thank you for all the well wishes and prayers.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled program...

I was wearing the pedometer and was averaging about 4000 steps a day, those days where no exercise enters the picture. Near the end of the week I took it off and I haven't put it back on. With everything going on, I haven't been watching what I eat so today is a new day.

I have a WW blueberry muffin and a banana for breakfast. I'm breaking the habit of picking up a croissant at the 7-11 when I get coffee. :)

More importantly, after reading some of the usual blogs, I came across the post from Scale Junkie. She is having a drawing for a brand new bike, courtesy of Lipton! Woo hoo! I want it! I want it! I am not going to go into all the details here. You will just have to check it out yourself! Click here NOW.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Prayers Needed

My mom will be 62 this year and let me tell you something about my mother. She has more guts than anyone I have ever met. I am a chicken shit in comparison. We have been into horses for a long time and she has since she was a kid. These days she team pens with them (chases cows, basically), shoots gun off their back and does obstacle courses. One of her horses tends to be somewhat dangerous when she gets into situations she doesn't want to do. My mom used to team pen with her until she started rearing up. Not just a little bit, but we are talking Trigger.

Yesterday, she took this horse to an obstacle course. She reared up. My mom didn't stay on this time. She fell off and hit her head. She is currently in the trauma unit at the hospital. She was unconscious for a short time but is apparently speaking now but doesn't know where she is or how she got there. She can move her arms and legs. She didn't want them to call me because of the concert I was going to with F. I talked to her and she told me to go and didn't want me to worry about her. Yeah ok.

I had a wonderful evening with F and I think our relationship moved to the next level. Of course, this is all dampered by the fact that my mother is in the hospital.

If I am not around for a couple of days, you will know why. So please keep her in your prayers for a speedy recovery.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Positive Thinking

I have always thought that our minds are very powerful and can help us recover from illnesses. I can't tell you how many times I think it helped me when I was first diagnosed with Lupus 14 years ago. So why haven't I been able to incorporate this into my fight against the bulge? I really don't have the answer to that but am working my way towards an answer.

I have been doing a great deal of soul searching recently. A part of that comes from a friend that is in AA. It has been a long journey of discovery for him. If he continued to think the same way he did before he quit drinking, he wouldn't still be sober today. You have to change the way you think, the way you look at things in your life. In order to do this, he committed himself to going to meetings every single day. He has rarely ever missed a meeting. I have so much respect and admiration for what he is doing! So why do I have a problem with going to the gym every day? It's the thinking, baby!

The way you think of yourself becomes your reality. There have been times when I have suffered from poor self image (usually on bad hair days), lack of confidence (yep, the hair again), lack of confidence and depression. There have been times in my life where I have just said, "I will just always be fat"....blah blah blah. Ever think that it could be a self-fulfilling prophecy?

I have been reading everything I can get my hands on to get my head in the right place. What I have read is changing my self-talk (so if you see me talking to myself, I am really ok, really). So what if I told myself every day that I can do this. I can lose weight and be healthy. I am going to eat well today and I will feel good about myself. Maybe that's the difference between us succeeding and us failing.

So one of the things I read, is to find out what you have been telling yourself. So, I am going to answer the questions goes.

1. Do you have a negative self-image?
Sometimes. Sometimes I feel that if I was thinner I would be happier. I would be able to do all the things I have wanted to do and have been afraid to. I didn't want to bring attention to myself and have everyone point and laugh at the fat girl.

2. Do you lack self-confidence?
Again, sometimes for the same reasons above. It's funny though. Some days I radiate self confidence. I think it's the hair!

3. Do you feel powerless?
No, I don't think so. I do, however feel sometimes that my willpower just isn't there.

4. Do you label yourself in negative or self-deprecating ways?
No, I have never labeled myself as the happy, fat girl. If anything, I avoid the word fat altogether.

So, looking at my answers to those questions I definitely have some work to do on how I think.

So, going forward these are going to be my daily affirmations.

"I weigh 170 pounds. I exercise daily. I take good care of my body. I am proud of what I have accomplished for myself."

By looking after my body through sensible exercise and eating, I'm showing that I love and respect myself. This will make every part of my life better.

The brain wiping/washing shall commence...

Thursday, May 1, 2008

10k Challenge

Yesterday morning I excitedly attached my new pedometer to my slacks and couldn't wait until I saw how many steps I did in a day. I thought I should be close to 10k steps even though I have a fairly inactive job. Oh wait, let me rephrase that I have a very inactive job. I sit at a computer all day. I do ocassionally get up and go downstairs, via the stairs. Don't get overly proud of me for taking the stairs, we don't have an elevator. Although, I do think that I would probably take the stairs anyway.

I didn't go to the gym yesterday because I wanted to see how many steps I took in a typical day without exercise. At the end of the day, I removed my new toy from my slacks and to my surprise the numbers were pathetic. I was shocked that I wasn't even close to 10k. I was thinking it would be around 7k or so but no, it was only 2014 steps for a total of .69 miles.

I tend to be one of those people that gets my mind set on something and I go full speed ahead. Then something happens a couple of weeks down the road and all the steam is gone. I want to try something a little different this time seeing this isn't a race to the finish line. You ever watched runners in a long race? They don't start out full speed ahead. They pace theirselves to keep up the stamina. This is what I am going to do. Slow and steady wins the race, right? I decided to look to the experts on the very popular 10k challenge and found this article. I have taken some of the information out of the article, but you can read the full version here.

Don't forget to sign up for the Bloggers' Biggest Loser Challenge. More info here

The 20% Boost Program: Fit Walking into Your Life

The realistic way to build up to 10,000 steps a day.

The goal of taking 10,000 steps in a day is a rough equivalent to the Surgeon General's recommendation to accumulate 30 minutes of activity most days of the week. It should be enough to reduce your risk for disease and help you lead a longer, healthier life. But not everyone should start right out trying to get 10K a day. So instead take a comfortable, gradual approach -- the 20% Boost Program.

First, invest in a pedometer. Put a safety string through the pedometer's waist clip and pin it or loop it through a belt loop, so the pedometer isn't dropped down a toilet.
Now follow the simple program below.

The first week, don't change your life at all; just learn your baseline average daily step total. Then, for the next two weeks try to boost that average by 20%. Be sure to follow the directions and fill in the simple log -- it's critical to helping you learn what adds steps to your day and what detracts. If you have questions, reference our FAQ.

Week 1:
The goal is to measure your steps in a typical week. Don't try to walk more than normal. Each morning, reset the pedometer to "0." Set it to show steps (ignore distance and calorie counts). Keep it closed and attached to the front of your waist to the left or right of center. Wear it all day from the moment you wake up until going to bed, except when immersed in water. At night remove it, record the number of steps you've taken in the log, and note if you did any formal exercise (wear your pedometer then, too); for example, "20-minute treadmill walk." Also note if anything caused more (museum tour) or fewer (all-day meeting) steps than usual in your day. Attach your pedometer to your shoe if you bicycle and the pedometer doesn't seem to count your pedaling.

Add steps for all seven days:
Divide by 7:
Multiply by 1.2:
(This is your goal for week #2.)

Week 2:
Your goal is to boost your average daily steps by 20%. Add the total steps taken in week one and divide by seven. Then multiply by 1.2. The result is your new target number for daily steps. So, if you averaged 3,000 steps a day in week one, try for 3,600 a day in week two. How you reach your goal is up to you. Most physical activity counts, including formal workouts (a brisk walk, using most exercise machines) and informal exercise (taking the stairs instead of the elevator or even pacing on the subway platform).
Week 2

Week#1 Average Steps:
Goal average for week #2:

Add steps for all seven days:
Divide by 7:
Multiply by 1.2:
(This is your goal for week #3.)

Week 3:
If you haven't reached 10,000 steps, or if your goal is substantial weight loss (for which many experts recommend 12,000 to 15,000 steps a day), then boost your steps again by 20%. Calculate your second week's daily average and multiply by 1.2. If aerobic fitness is a goal, try boosting the speed of at least 2,000 to 4,000 of the steps you're already doing.

Average Steps Week#2:
Goal average for week #3:

Weeks #4 and beyond:
Some people find that just with three weeks of effort they've gotten their daily step average close to or beyond 10,000. But many find it takes several more weeks of boosting by 20% each week until they can create a 10,000 step-per-day habit. Even if you only try for 10% more each week, you'll soon find that your days are full of opportunities for more steps. You'll also find that in short order you won't need a pedometer to tell you how you're doing. For example, if you get off the train a stop early or take a walk at lunch you know you'll hit your total, but otherwise you come up short. However, consider using your pedometer whenever you need a step-check.

Answers to some common questions:
How many steps do I need?
Here are some rough targets:
For long term health and reduced chronic disease risk:
10,000 steps a day
For successful, sustained weight loss:
12,000 - 15,000 steps a day
To build aerobic fitness:
Make 3,000 or more of your daily steps fast