Monday, July 28, 2008

Monday Check-in

Good morning! I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

F called me Friday night and we talked for probably an hour, we haven't done that in a long, long time. It was a good conversation. In fact, he told me that the reason why he is distant is because he doesn't trust himself with me. He could very easily be in a serious relationship with me and it scares the crap out of him because he has screwed up all of the others in the past. He continued to say that he is probably screwing this up too by the way he is handling it. I told him, yes you are. I am past the stage of "crying myself to sleep" or sitting in the corner sucking my thumb but I still love the man. Oh, for the record I really didn't sit in the corner sucking my thumb. I did, however, shed a few tears. He asked me to go to a movie with him. He didn't say when. I guess he won some movie tickets. I told him that was nice to ask me and he told me that "it was our thing".

Then there is 6-pack. I have been getting emails from him every chance he gets to get on a computer. Poor guy. His family and all his friends are telling him what they want to do when he gets back and where they want to take him. He told me last night that he really just wants to lay low the two weeks he is off and sleep in a real bed. Do you believe that these men and women that are fighting for our country, being shot at daily, living in 115 degree heat, away from their loved ones for a minimum of 6 months come home and they get two weeks off. Two weeks?! Our congressmen and women take more time off at the local spa, for pete's sake! It just really aggravates me. Our servicemen and women deserve more.

Ok, onto the Monday morning weigh-in. It was not pleasant. I am not recording it. I am going to weigh myself again in the morning to see if there is any difference because it put me 6 lbs up from last week! Now, several variables are mixed into that. I had that pizza earlier in the week, I haven't journaled the past couple of days, TOM is coming and I am not happy about it. He is bringing bloaty, crampy and fatty with him. So, I am not overly concerned about this 6 lbs. I know I didn't eat an extra 18,000 + calories for the week.

I am prepared today. Bring it on!


Scale Junkie said...

I don't know what to think about F anymore. I know that relationships are a lot of work but, this one has you working overtime. I think I'd set a deadline for him. I think he will continue to pull you along like this unless you set a time frame. I hate seeing you hurt like this.

We were having a discussion about the service men and women and their time off and my military friends have said that anything longer than two weeks and they'd lose the edge and go back "soft" I do think I understand that but its so hard on the families.

Thinking Thin said...

They may be right but at the same time, how can they lose the edge. He can't sleep. He has nightmares every night. I guess being shot at on a daily basis will do that to you. Two weeks isn't really long enough to erase a year of mental abuse. I can almost understand if he was being sent right back to Iraq. You don't want them to forget because it could mean their life. It's depressing either way. *sigh

Thinking Thin said...

Oh Diane, the funny thing is F isn't hurting me anymore. I am past that. If he comes around, he comes around. I think he is hurting more than I am. He is really struggling with his inner self.

carla said...

relationship dynamic advice? none proffered here. (enough said about that. *sigh*)
and kudos to you for NOT being dragged down by the scale.

for keeping on keeping on.

TOM will come and go and the scale shall move DOWN accordingly.


ptg said...

I have to agree with scalejunkie a seems like he just keeps pulling these excuses and you're just running in place.

I know there's more to the story than what you put here (there always is), but please make sure that you think about things without him. If he can't come to his senses enough to say he wants to be with you, then he doesn't want it.

Moving on!

I agree with your statement about military...they deserve more than what we give them while in active duty. But that being said, their benefits when they return to "civilian" life (their health care, retirement benies, education benies, etc) are quite phenomenal. They just need to have it all spread out more. They definitely deserve more while in duty.

PS - weigh-in for the week was 187.

Shanna said...

Oh lawdy! =) At least you've entered the "just going with it" phase. You tend to think a bit clearer without the tears!

And about the weigh in, maybe you should weigh yourself on Tuesdays or Wednesdays instead. It farther away from the any weekend uh-oh's you may have committed, and give the scale a bitmore time to come back down. Thats what I strated doing last week, and it really made a difference! So, I'll be sending you my WI tomorrow!

BTW, did you ever get your thyroid rechecked like you said you were going to? It might be factoring in here. Good luck with everything! =)

Manuela said...

Down 1 pound, again.

I hate TOM, I really, really do!

carla said...

(youre the guest chef this week...just a reminderheads-up!)

new*me said...

that evil scale :) I swear it lies to me too :)

MaryFran said...

Don't worry about the scales. Two days ago my scales jumped in numbers drastically. I kept at it and two days later (today) it went back down to the number at which I've been hovering for the past week.

oh yeah,...that number 181.4

Crystal said...

That boy is sure keeping you on your toes, isn't he? Hope he makes up is mind before he loses his chance..Mr. 6-pack is sounding better every day.

Cammy said...

Sorry for the sucky weigh in. :( Good thing there's a fresh week coming up! :)

Shanna said...

Just checking in with my WI, I am down 1 more pound!! Whoopie! That brings me to 191.5 =D

RunningNan said...

I say we punch TOM in the face! any takers?

Shanna said...

Nan- OMG! You just made me laugh! The guy that sits next to me at work's name is Tom! And I just imagined everone punching him! LOL He is really annoying too! =) Just though I would share!