Monday, July 7, 2008

The Scale Moved!

Weigh in: 279.6. It's the little things that excite me. It was only a pound but hey, the way things have been going, I am greatful for any little ounce and it puts me in the 270s (barely).

Things have been rough on a personal front. I didn't see F at all this weekend. I wanted to see him for at least the 4th but he made other plans. I spent the 4th alone. I talked to him briefly Saturday night over IM but that was because I messaged him, just to say hi. He has distanced himself from me, yet again. I can't remember the last time he actually picked up the phone and called me. It's been only texts and IMs. I know he loves me and I love him. So you ask, what's the problem? Hell, if I know. My mother and I got into an arguement over him over the weekend. She thinks the worst of people sometimes. She doesn't understand that different people deal with things differently so she just assumes he is hiding something. I really just need to stop talking to her about things. I will not be contacting F anymore. It is going to kill me inside but at this point in time, he needs to show some kind of an effort that I am important to him or he is going to lose the best thing that ever happened to

Then there is A. I told you about him the other day. He told me in an email that he can't stop thinking about me. It's strange how he came back into my life as my life with F is falling apart. I have to take the "I can't stop thinking about you" with a grain of salt. He is, after all in Iraq and surrounded by a bunch of sweaty men fighting for their lives. He is probably a bit lonely. He says that's not it, but one can only wonder. I know I would be pretty lonely and would probably reach out for something that reminded me of home. Another twist, he's a sign to tell Frank goodbye and wait for him to come home

So, there you have it my personal life continues to fall apart but I am coming to terms with it. I don't like it and I am not exactly happy right now but I am past the 'jumping off the bridge' stage at least.

...but I lost a pound and now I am off to the gym!!!

I will check in with you all later :)


Ashley said...

I think you made the right decision about not contacting F. Sorry your 4th wasn't great!!

I weighed in today at 202.4. Le sigh.

carla said...

focusing on the positive: IT'S MOVING AND THE WAY YOU WANT IT TO!

and also positive that you made a decision and didnt contact.
hard I SO know.

hang in there,


Katschi said...

It's a good day when the scale goes down instead of up :)

Shanna said...

Sorry about the love woes! Seriously, why do guys make life so difficult sometimes! They can drive you up the wall! You are such a strong lady, I am sure you will make the right decisions.

Hooray for the scale movement!!! Woo Hoo! Something is better then nothing!

My WI for this week is 195.5. Down 1.5 pounds! =)

spunkysuzi said...

A pound is a pound and that's a good loss ;) Trying to figure out what to do in life is sooooo hard!!

My weigh in this week 142.4 a loss of 1.2 lbs :)

RunningNan said...

congrats on the pound.. but I hate that you gave me your pound and a second! ha ha.. I'm back to 156.

I'm proud of your decision to not contact him. It will be tough, but you don't deserve the heartache of wondering anymore. You are the best thing that happened to him, and you need to be open to being the best thing to happen to the next person!

Big Girl said...

Boys are crazy. But I'm glad you made the decision not to contact F. It'll be hard but worth it.

Lovebug6100 said...

Weighed in at 255.8 this week, up .2 pounds....

ptg said...

Not contacting him is the hardest thing you could do, but also shows the incredible strength of character you have and also, how incredibly STUPID he would be to lose you. Good for you, and if you need to vent, vent here!

Also, great job on the 1lb weight loss! I, on the other hand, gained 1/2lb - back up to 195. Sigh. But I'm determined to get my rear in gear and get moving!

goodbyetoallfat said...

Well done on another pound lost + like all the other ladies I have to agree: NOT contacting F is a wise decision -- let him start to miss you and realise the error of his ways (preferably a day or two after A gets sent back from Iraq!).


K. said...

AS untactful as mothers can be they sometimes are very right! I too would think negatively of F's behavior and would agree about not contacting him for now. When a man is truly into you, he behaves quite differently. As I know that cause I am living the same situation with a guy I really like but who's not all that responsive. So you know what? I've decided to focus on me, getting my weight under control, doing good at work, working on my mental and just living my life while being open to possibilities.congrats on the weight loss

Heather said...

"only" a pound?!? hey you celebrate that pound. that "only" pound will add up to many many more that will get you to your goal. great job and keep it up!

Trish said...

Woo Hoo! A pound is a pound is a pound!
Men! I hope things start heading for the positive in your personal life.

**My weigh in this week is 369 for the biggest loser challenge.

Trish @ becoming a better me.

Stacy Cartwright said...

So my weigh in was not the best I gained again but only .4 for a total of 173.0 pounds.

Hope you have a good week.

Chubby Chick said...

Congrats on the loss! That is fantastic!

I'm sorry you've been dealing with a lot of stress lately with F and A. Just focus on yourself as much as possible and keep working on your July goals... which are great, by the way.

You are absolutely gorgeous, and from what I can tell from your blog you have a great personality... and whatever guy is smart enough to grab you and keep you should count his lucky stars. :)

Manuela said...

I'm back!

Down .5 but that's okay. Glad to see that scale going in the right direction for a change. As for that guy thing, I'm with a lot of others in saying it's good that you leave him on his own for a bit. Time to focus on yourself and your own needs

Now, as for mothers!!!!

(BTW, I posted a recipe for blueberry muffins on your recipe day--you may want to check it out)

Wallowgirl said...

You had a loss! Great job! A pound of week is the average so don't sweat it. I had a loss of 1.8 this week.