Bad week

It's been a bad week. I haven't posted much being out of town. I have been working 12-14 hour days so my eating has been sporadic. I have eaten when I could and it hasn't always been the best for me. I haven't been able to get to the hotel gym because by the time I get back to my hotel room, I need to find something to eat and get to bed to do it all again in the morning. It's not what was planned at all! I go home tomorrow (YAY!) so I am debating on whether I should step on the scale and see what the damage is or do my best for the rest of the week and just weigh myself on Monday...the decisions to make :).

So besides me feeling lousy about my week here, I turn on the TV in my hotel room and The Biggest Loser is on. I think there are certain aspects of the show are good, controlling food and making them exercise but at the same time I think it could be extremely unmotivational. Some were losing 2 lbs and 5lbs and that wasn't good enough. What is that telling people, if you don't lose that each week, that you are a failure?

I think it's Wednesday

Well, the week hasn't started out very well. I am out of town for work and I had every intention of eating the right things. Well, let's just say things are not going quite as planned. I finally get to my hotel last night and my only choices were pizza or chinese. Hmm, which is the lesser of two evils? I got thin crust veggie pizza. I also wanted to go to the hotel gym every day, but I didn't get there today. My day started at 4:30 this morning and I didn't get back to my hotel until 8p from the office. The last thing I had the energy to do was to go down to the gym. Instead, I filled up my jacuzzi bathtub in my room and lounged in that for 45 minutes. The bright side is my lunch today was horrible. I had a side salad with the absolute worst dressing I have ever tasted so I didn't eat it and a pastrami sandwich which wasn't much better.

I haven't been able to brew my tea so I am not happy. I am hoping I have enough time tomorrow morning to brew some for the day. No green tea makes me very unhappy :).

I hope everyone is doing well. I will try to get to your blogs soon.

Monday Weigh In

I am very happy with my weigh in this week, down 5.2! I am doing a happy dance on my desk right now.

Recap of last week:

Monday - walked 2.5 miles
Tuesday - 32 minute bike ride at level for 5. 5 miles, Core exerciser -10 minutes
Wednesday - 30 minute treadmill 2.8 mph
Thursday - 45 min walk
Friday - day off
Saturday - 2 hour horse back ride walk/trot

Drank my water everyday, except maybe yesterday. I journaled everyday, except on the weekend. *makes mental note to journal on weekend

I will try and get to see all your blogs later but might have to wait until tomorrow night. I have to pack for a trip for work *bleh. I hope the Scale Gods were good to everyone!

8 Things

I got this from Chubby Chick...

Eight Things I Am Passionate About

1. my friends and family
2. getting fit and losing weight this year
3. my animals
4. my job
5. my hobbies
6. green tea (I know, strange but I am)
7. sticking up for the underdog
8. enjoying life regardless of my weight (not quite there yet, but I am passionate about wanting to be there )

Things I Want to Do Before I Die

1. Wear a bikini and look good in it
2. International travel
3. Own a small ranch
4. Meet a good man and get married (again)
5. Have a baby, maybe.
6. Weigh less than 200 lbs.
7. Go horseback riding on the beach
8. Snowmobiling

Eight Things I Say Often

1. You're killing me
2. Would you please do your dishes? (to my lazy roommate)
3. Good morning sweetheart
4. Blackjack, get out of the way (to my dog who is always underfoot)
5. Shasta, go outside now (to my roommate's dog that won't ever go outside)
6. What do you want to do?
7. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
8. Bite me.

Eight Books I’ve Read Recently

1. Co-dependency No More
2. The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship
3. Santa Cruise by Mary Higgins Clark
4. A Cry in the Night by Mary Higgins Clark
5. No Place Like Home by Mary Higgins Clark

Eight Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over Again

1. You will never be lonely
2. How can I live
3. Tight Fittin Jeans
4. Cyclone
5. Truly, Madly, Deeply
6. Crush

Eight Movies I Have Seen Eight Times (or more…)

1. Jaws
2. Superman
3. Hope Floats
4. The Notebook
5. GI Jane
6. The Gladitator
7. The Lion King
8. Tommy Boy

I feel great

I don't know how really to explain it, but I feel great. I just begun this journey (again) and it's a little different this time. I feel great and I have only lost a little bit. In the past, this would have discouraged me some but it's not this time. I have been exercising every day. The days that I haven't gone to the gym, I have gone for a walk in the neighborhood. I don't know if it is the green tea that I am drinking, the exercise, my new thyroid pills or even all of the above but the past two days I have woke up almost refreshed and that hasn't happened in years. I have actually gotten out of bed before my alarm went off and I am just in shock over it. I like it!

The next week is going to bring more challenges to me. I have to go out of town for work and normally when I have to travel, I end up working so many hours I don't find the time or the energy to go to the hotel gym. I also tend to eat things I wouldn't normally eat ...mostly steak and a baked potato. I know, eat 1/2 the steak and don't get all the junk on the potato but we all know it's not that easy. It tastes so good! I am going to try to make wise decisions and find the time to make it to the hotel gym. I will be in the frozen tundra so I won't be venturing out when I don't need to so I think I can try to find at least 30 minutes (minimum) to visit the gym. That reminds me (makes mental note) to pack workout clothes. In preparation for my trip, I am even packing my green tea, my drinking bottle and splenda so I can have my green tea while I am gone.

So here are my goals for next week:

• Make wise decisions when eating out. If I have to have that steak and potato, then make adjustments elsewhere.
• Journal
• Drink my green tea.
• Go to the hotel gym a minimum of 30 minutes a day.

Challenges

I am interested in knowing others' progress that have an underactive thyroid and currently taking synthroid. I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid many years ago (really have no clue how many). Your TSH levels should be approximately .5 to 5.0, depending on who you ask. When I was first tested years ago, my number was in the 90s, obviously a problem so they put me on Synthroid. I am still not at the correct dosage. I had a blood test the other day and they are upping it again. I am now up to .175. Now, I know I can't blame all my weight issues (if any) on my thyroid but those of you that do suffer from an underactive thyroid, do you find that it is more difficult for you to lose weight? or do you find that you just lose slower? or do you find that it doesn't bring you any challenges? If it does bring you challenges, what have you done to overcome them?

I had written a whole other paragraph whining about comparing my efforts with others and me not seeing as dramatic of results and realized that I shouldn't post that. This isn't about anyone else, it is about me and that's my biggest challenge is not comparing my success to others. We all lose weight at different speeds, mine unfortunately tends to be on the extremely slow side. I will do this and I will learn to accept whatever the scale says. I will continue working to a healthier lifestyle and not look to the scale for my validation (at least going to try). Maybe if I repeat those to myself each day, I can accept it.

My car went straight!

I am sure many of you have the same problem I do. Once we get into a workout routine, we feel guilty when we don't do it. In fact, we might even miss it. However, life gets in the way or we feel lazy one day and don't go. Then, we don't go the next day or the day after that. Once we stop our routine, it is so hard to get back into it (or at least it is for me).

On Monday, I had said I was going to go the gym. I didn't go. My car went left instead of straight (left is towards home). I did at least walk that night so I didn't feel too guilty. On my way home from work last night, I just kept telling myself the car must go straight. The car did! I went to the gym and I felt good about it afterwards. I didn't do what I want to do in the long term but am taking baby steps so I don't get burnt out. I used the stationary bike and ended up doing 32 minutes, on level 5 and did a bit over 5 miles. After I got home, made some chicken with rice and before going to bed I used my new core exerciser for 15 minutes. The core exerciser I bought simulates horse back riding (which also happens to be what I do every weekend). Who knows if it is actually doing anything, but it's fun regardless. Anyone out there seen one or ever used one for any length of time?

Rambling...

Well, I didn't go to the gym last night. Nope. My car turned left when it should have gone straight. I am going to have to talk to that car! Bad car! However, I did go for a walk for probably about an hour. It wasn't a quick walk, but just a casual stroll but it was movement.

Work has me stressed. I am being pulled into 500 different directions, it seems. I have to go out of town in a week to a place I really, really don't want to go to for a week. It is so hard to travel and eat right but I am going to try! I am having man difficulties. For those of you that are married, stay that way. Dating sucks! This particular man has a lot of issues of his own he is trying to iron out but we have been seeing each other for awhile and the progress is going extremely sloooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Now, I don't want to get married tomorrow but it would be nice if there was a bit more intimacy, if you get my drift. The problem, or problems I should say are his exes cheated on him and I think they did a number on his self confidence. He tells me that sex complicates things and someone ends up being hurt. When he said that, I just automatically assumed he was talking about me being hurt (because that's how it usually is). Then this morning, he is browsing Amazon for books and for whatever reason he is in the sexual area and the one book was about the secrets to sensual lovemaking. Then he says to me...the secret is - don't bother, you'll never make her happy anyway. Then it dawned on me, it's not me. It's him. He says he was kidding but I have to think that there must be some truth that he actually feels that way.

I have my own self confidence issues and it's because of my weight. Whenever, I have dated someone in the past and there seems to be a problem. I have always assumed it was me because of my own image issues. So this "relationship" that I have with him does stress me out a little because I need that reassurance from him that we are going in the right direction. I am trying (somewhat succeeding) at taking it day by day and just enjoying each day that I have with him and what will be, will be. I am trying super hard to not think about my sex drive (LOL) and I think this day by day thinking (still working on it) helps with the lifestyle changes I am trying to incorporate into my life.

Has anyone else thought that the reasons why things go wrong in their life is because of their weight? Or am I just the only weird one?

Monday Check-In

I was rather disappointed this morning when I got on the scale. No loss, but I guess I should be glad there wasn't a gain. Granted, I didn't exercise all this past week because I have been sick. I have, however stuck to my plan and stayed within points. The only other thing that may have caused me not to see a loss is I did go to the movies yesterday and had movie popcorn and yes I had "movie butter" on it. I am thinking that the salt in the popcorn may have had a negative effect. Today starts a new day and a new week. I am excited.

After work I am going to the gym, and get back into my routine. I am missing it!

Hope you all had a great weekend and if you weigh in today, may the Scale Gods smile upon you.

Hate water? I have the answer!!!

...and it's good for you. First, let me tell you a story of a guy I dated for awhile. He turned out to be psychotic but one thing good came of it. Green tea! He introduced me to the wonderful world of real tea, not that Lipton crap or Arizona iced tea but real tea. He had cancer 12 years ago and someone had introduced him to green tea. He is cancer free and hasn't been sick (at all) since then (I should have started drinking it awhile ago, maybe this cold would be gone). He swears by it and I am getting to that point, as well.



Here's the scoop if you don't know about teas. I have done a great deal of research on it since he told me about it so I am going to share it with you. True tea comes from a plant called camellia sinensis plant. The stuff that we think is tea, really isn't. It is what they call tisane (resembles tea but does not come from the tea plant). Real tea does 3 amazing things: increases your metabolism, decreases your appetite and helps stabilize your blood sugar. (BTW, I got this part from the Ulitimate Tea Diet book. The man who wrote it is in the tea business and his family has been in it for eons). Even though he wrote this in his book, I have read it elsewhere. The real teas are white, green, oolong or black that comes from that plant, camellia sinensis. I just started religiously drinking it about two weeks ago. My appetite is not what it used to be, it is so much easier to get down my water, in fact I am drinking probably a gallon a day. I haven't had diet soda in two weeks and I crave the tea. Anyone that takes my ice tea maker, I will break off their fingers! In this book (which I am not trying to promote) there are different teas available to cure those cravings for say french fries or cheesecake. I haven't tried those yet but maybe one day.



So here's more good news about real tea. White and green teas have higher levels of antioxidants. Oolong and black tea, according to this book have been shown to be more effective in preventing certain diseases, such as heart disease and high blood pressure. However, all four types will aid in weight loss, reduce cholesterol and much more ( I can't remember everything).



So there's my speel on true tea. If you want to check it out, I bought mine at Imperial Tea Gardens on the web but I know there are a bunch of other places. I buy whole leaf because I have read somewhere it is better in that form and you can use it more than once unlike a teabag. I sweeten it with Splenda and carry around my water bottle whereever I go with my tea inside.



This is the best thing since sliced bread.

Just another day...

I have been sick since New Year's Eve and can't seem to shake it. I have really wanted to get back into my gym routine but it is hard to do when you can barely breathe. I am going to try today though, at least get 30 minutes in. I have been doing ok this week. I have been drinking my oolong tea (I swear by this stuff and if anyone ever tries to take my iced tea maker away, I will break their fingers!). I have been journaling everyday. I have found that when I know I haven't been eating the best is when I don't want to journal, some sort of denial I guess? I have forced myself to journal everything even if it the points are outrageous and this I have found is key to my success. Yesterday, for example I had to run to the store to get some water for my tea and was starving, I hadn't eaten breakfast yet so I grabbed one of those small packages of donuts (yes, I know ...not exactly a great choice). I am not talking about the bag of donuts, I am talking about those tiny little packages with maybe 5 or 6 mini donuts in it where if you combined them together, it might make 1 -2 real donuts. Those that don't have a weight problem wouldn't think twice about this tiny little package but the damn thing had 22 grams of fat in it!!! On my WW point system, it came to 10 points, I get 34 a day. I counted it though and stayed within my points yesterday. YAY me!

I have a lot of things I want to post here but maybe tomorrow...not feeling it today.

Good luck today everyone!



I just noticed after reading a few other blogs that today is recipe day? Ok, well here is one of my favorites. For those of you doing Weight Watchers, I think it is like 8 points (might want to calculate it) for a small portion but it tastes awesome. You can also modify the recipe and not put in as many tortillas to reduce the point count. Throw some green veggies on the side and you have an awesome Mexican tasting dinner. Click on image for the recipe.

Healthy You Challenge Intro

I stumbled across the Healthy You Challenge and joined because I thought I would do much better with the support than I do on my own. I have struggled with my weight all my life. Quite frankly, after 36 years I am tired of it. I have lost bits of weight here and there over the past but have almost always gained it back. Like I said in my previous post, I have been the same weight now for pretty much the last 13 years. I have never gone over 285 but I haven't gone below 250 either. I remember back in high school, how everyone thought I was fat. Looking back, I would kill to be at that weight again. I was 180 pounds. I know that to do this, my head needs to be there. My head is there, I just need to keep it there! I need to realize that I am worth it, and that just because I am heavy it does not make me worth less. My goals with this challenge is to get to a weight that I am comfortable with, whether that be 180, 165 or even 220. My biggest challenge is overcoming the emotional issues. I never thought I was an emotional eater but am thinking that maybe I tend to lean towards comfort foods (carbs, for me) when things in my life aren't going as planned.

The other big problem that I had (I have overcome!!) is drinking water. Well, I am now drinking green tea, which for those of you aren't familiar is better for you than drinking water. I have done a lot of research on it. I find myself craving it and am drinking about a gallon a day. It helps with your metabolism, gets rid of the free radicals in your body and flushes out toxins.

So I am here for long haul and wish all of you the best of luck and am here for support if you need it!

A New Beginning

I haven't blogged in a really long time. Life tends to get busy. I stumbled across the Healthy You Challenge and decided that I am worth the time. So thank you to Chubby Chick for getting me to take an additional step to a healthier me.

I have been overweight all my life and have tried numerous methods during my 36 years on this Earth to try to lose the weight and be happy with my body image. I have had small successes but have always ended up right back where I started. I am the same weight now as I was back in 1994. I suppose that's a good thing, in a way. It could be worse, I could be heavier. When I have tried in the past, I get frustrated after a few weeks of being really good and not getting anywhere. I need to stop focusing on other's successes and realize that we are all different. This blog will be my way to remain accountable and maybe someday will be the source of support for others that may need it. Lord knows I need as much support as I can get.

I found the following off WebMd and thought I would post it so I could go back and read it when I need that sometimes well needed kick in the ass.

To reach your weight loss goal (or any goal, for that matter), you must develop a set of skills that will help you become successful, says Howard Rankin, PhD, psychologist for the international support group TOPS (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly), and author of The TOPS Way to Weight Loss: Beyond Calories and Exercise.

Some of the skills that will help you live your way to a thinner, healthier body, says Rankin, are:

• Patience. Take things one step at a time. Give up one of your "downfall" foods at a time, for example, not all of them at once.
• Visualization. Think about a specific situation you're going to encounter and how you will deal with it. "See" yourself going out to dinner and eating a healthy meal.
• Accountability. Rely on a support group, friends, or even a therapist to whom you have to report.
• Self-control. Realize that every time you resist successfully, you're developing self-control. Congratulate yourself each time you do this.
• Goal-setting. Think in terms of small goals. You don't need to lose 60 pounds; all you need to lose is one pound next week. Each small goal you achieve will reinforce your motivation and set you up for success.
• Journaling. Keep a written account of your actions, your thoughts, and your feelings, as well as what you eat. This not only increases your self-awareness, but also helps you let out feelings you may try to "stuff" back in with food.
• Assertiveness. Learn to say no. Ask yourself, "Is this going to get me closer to my goal or further away?"
• Remember the Rest of You

Finally, remember that you are more than someone who is trying to lose weight. This is especially true if you're a woman.

"Women tie too much of their self-esteem on their body image, which is likely to be distorted in a negative way, and not enough on other factors of their life," says Salvatore Cullari, PhD, professor emeritus of psychology at Lebanon Valley College in Annville, Pa.

The more "possible selves" a woman has, says Cullari, the less likely she is to be overwhelmed by body image issues, which can lead to self-consciousness, depression, vulnerability, and crash dieting.

"Avoid even thinking about the aspect of yourself that makes you feel inferior, like your body, and focus on another aspect of your life in which you are very successful," says Cullari. "For example, you may be a businessperson, a mother, a wife, a doctor, a gardener, a skier, etc. Allow yourself to concentrate on those other aspects of your life where you feel more satisfied."